Boycott Ryan Lochte The Urinator

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a rich white male commits a series of crimes and blames it on the foreigners, and gets off scot free.

We all know Ryan Lochte as the American swimmer that was always inferior to two-time DUI arrestee Michael Phelps. We also know him as America’s Stupidest Olympian.

Recently Lochte committed a number of crimes in Brazil and topped them off by filing a false police report. As usual, Lochte expects that he can offer a second-rate apology and then go on with his life of privilege.

Update: we asked you so boycott Lochte’s sponsors until they dropped him. As of this writing, your boycott worked and all of the sponsors dropped Lochte. Special praise goes to Speedo for donating the remainder of their contract to “Save The Children” of Brazil. Its estimated that this international incident may cost Lochte $750,000-$1M in lost endorsements. A small price to pay.

Keep in mind that one of the alleged crimes involves urinating on a gas station. Who knows how much urinating he has done in the pools over the years?

I suggest that Lochte be banned from the US swimming program, and move to Africa to coach unfortunate youths in swimming. Only then can we forgive him.

 

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